I’ve heard variations of this distressing question countless times. “I’d like to find someone to love, but I still am hurt from my last relationship. I just can’t seem to get over losing the most important person in my life. I know I need to move on, but I can’t seem to get over him/her. How do I get over that lost love?”
It’s not easy. One of the risks of falling in love is that you don’t have an easy way to disregard those feelings just because your partner says good-bye. The pain of losing someone is not only metaphorical… it can literally hurt. There may be shooting pain or headaches or just an empty, nauseated feeling. These feelings may stick around, and if you don’t fight back… depression, over-eating, drinking or other self-destructive acts may result. Mending a broken heart is important for all sorts of reasons. But where do you start? Let me give you five good ways to begin.
First – Get Busy! If you are lonely and have time on your hands to dwell on what might have been, your unhappy thoughts will start to get the best of you. Use energy by exercising, taking on more work, a big project, or a new hobby. Do whatever it takes to loose yourself in the present and not in the past.
Second – Look at the BIG Picture! Feeling sorry for yourself? Spend the day feeding the homeless, working with the mentally ill or sick children at the hospital. Participating in activities that benefit the community will refocus your attitude and help you to realize all that you do have.
Third – Let It Go! Remove pictures and mementos. Stop calling and pretending to be, “just friends.” If you keep in contact, it is fuel to the fire and these embers need to turn cold. Keeping in touch with your former partner may cause you to think about getting back together. You need to sever ties, if you want to be able to love again.
Fourth – Start Dating! But, don’t go looking for Love… you’re in no shape to get serious. Either the first person you date will seem wonderful, or every date will look pitifully unworthy next to the one that got away. Have fun, meet a lot of new people and don’t think you have to make any serious decisions about anyone for now.
Fifth – Treat Yourself Well! Make a list of places you would like to visit, books you would like to read and restaurants to would like to explore. Plan trips with your friends or treat yourself. Remember how good it is to enjoy life!
Here are my three simple Don’ts….. One – Don’t keep discussing him or her with friends.
Two – Don’t call. Don’t answer calls.
Three – Don’t compare everyone else to him or her.
So here’s the final truth, you CAN mend a broken heart. It’s not broken forever, it’s just wounded. You can love again, you just have to help yourself heal, and if you do, you will!
By: Dr. Pepper Schwartz
Source: www.Kiss.com
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